The Quest for Golden Poo

In the past few years colon cleansing and detoxification methods have gained popularity among the new health-conscious generation of city dwellers. Suddenly, health centers mushroom throughout the Klang Valley offering various programs for this new way of body rejuvenation. 


But like all latest fads, supported by over-hyped reviews, media coverage, extensive marketing and Voilà! the glowing bright-eyed consultant exclaims, "This limited time promotion will only cost you a mere RM300 per session, or you may purchase a special 5 session package for RM1,250 and not forgetting the recommended specially formulated liquid diet for only RM320 (all in the name of health, of course)."

OR
There is the DIY Enema Kit that can be purchased online and discreetly delivered right to your doorstep with step by step instructions and all the tools necessary to get you started on the program to expel all bodily toxins in the comforts of your own home. Well, the only drawback is that you will have to stick it up your A**SE!

OR 

You could do it the cheaper, natural and non-invasive way, the way yogis have practised for hundreds of years. Let me introduce to you..... 

SANGKA PRAKSALANA

*Do take note that the description provided below does not serve as a guide for self experimentation. Please consult a certified yoga instructor for further details of the process.

1) Heat up 5-6 liters of salted water (1 tablespoon of salt per liter of water).

2) Drink a glass of this solution (at least 250 ml) and perform a specific set of  exercises consisting of 4 yogic movements. Continue with this sequence (drinking and performing the exercise) until you have consumed about 6 glasses of the solution. By then you should have an uncontrollable desire to 'Unleash the Siphon', or put simply, 'Pee your butt out'.

3) Repeat step 2) several times.  Initially, the evacuated substance will resemble chocolate soft serve, but gets softer and clearer with each evacuation, until finally it becomes as clean and clear as the solution first drunk. Once this is attained, stop the evacuation by drinking 3 cups of warm unsalted water and perform the Jala Vaman Dhauti (vomiting technique explained in my earlier post).

4) The first meal must be consumed between half an hour to an hour after the last glass of unsalted water is drunk. This meal should consist of boiled white rice mixed with at least 40 grams of butter. Dairy products, sour foods and raw veggies/fruits are forbidden for the next 24 hours. Spices (except salt), meat and alcohol are forbidden for the next 48 hours.

Important Tips

a) Perform this on en empty stomach.

b) Ensure you have exclusive rights to the toilet for half a day.

c) For the next 24 hours after the procedure, avoid any over exertive physical activity and contact with cold air or water.


Now comes the long awaited part which makes it all worth while. The practitioner will not only be bestowed with radiant skin, peaceful sleep and fresher breath, but the stools that appear 24 to 48 hours later will be golden yellow in colour and odourless , just like a baby's.